Signora Binazzi

First of all, I can't believe I have internet right now. Today has made me feel like I've stepped back at least half a century, and typing on this computer with a full wireless signal makes me feel like I snuck off to do something very illegal.

Today was my first official Italian breakdown. It's actually still going on a little. Tears and emotional roller-coastering have been kept to a manageable scale, so all in all, quite a success. I am in my room in the home of Loriana Binazzi. Think convent meets Florentine warmth. Loriana is lovely. Truly. She made an expression today that looked so much like my Grandma Jeanne I almost fell over.

It's a nice size apartment, just outside the limits of the city center. I'm still trying to figure out if her grown daughter lives here full time or not. I think yes. She also has another daughter with an 11 month old grandson, and a son who lives nearby. She speaks very very very little English. And I think her English is better than my Italian, which is not saying much for either party. Allora...we managed to get through all of the living logistics and necessities this morning, and then had a few hours early this evening in which conversation came and went. We even sat together at the dining room table and watched the Italian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?.

But I was a slight wreck today. Today said Katie, I'm going to test your confidence and challenge your expectations on a whole new level. Today continued, I'm going to play with your determination and frustration levels until I essentially kick your ass. And Today kept on going and going and going. This is why I am very much looking forward to Tomorrow.

I am not good at being a tourist. I don't like being a tourist. I like to be in a city with a purpose and sense of belonging. And I have to remind myself that that feeling, as well as a fluency in a language, does not come overnight. Nor in 72 hours. And it doesn't matter how bad you want it.

And well, it's a little strange to have a still moment in a overstimulating city, where you look up and think, Shit! I don't know another soul here.

Alas..tomorrow is the first day of school and I feel like I should have an outfit picked out and ready by the bed... Did I mention that I have my own pink bathroom? You have to step through the shower to get to the toilet and it leaves me equally giddy and perplexed every time I walk in.